Aug 18, 2010
Worshiping You
When everything is going well and the sun is shining brightly, I will worship You.
When the path is smooth and easy to walk, I will worship You.
When the dark clouds come rolling in and I know a storm is coming, I will worship You.
When the hail and the winds are seeking to destroy all I am and all I have, I will worship You.
I will worship the great I Am, who was, who is, and who is to come.
I will worship the God of the impossible.
I will worship You because of your unending love and faithfulness to me.
When I worship You, the world fades off in the distance.
When I worship You, the mountain becomes a molehill.
When I worship You, my hope is renewed.
When I worship You, I am comforted by Your presence.
So here I am, worshiping You.
With all I am, worshiping You.
Bowing down in spirit and truth, lifting hands in worship to You.
When the path is smooth and easy to walk, I will worship You.
When the dark clouds come rolling in and I know a storm is coming, I will worship You.
When the hail and the winds are seeking to destroy all I am and all I have, I will worship You.
I will worship the great I Am, who was, who is, and who is to come.
I will worship the God of the impossible.
I will worship You because of your unending love and faithfulness to me.
When I worship You, the world fades off in the distance.
When I worship You, the mountain becomes a molehill.
When I worship You, my hope is renewed.
When I worship You, I am comforted by Your presence.
So here I am, worshiping You.
With all I am, worshiping You.
Bowing down in spirit and truth, lifting hands in worship to You.
Aug 13, 2010
Empty Slate
All day today I kept having this image run through my mind of a chalkboard with scribbles and scratches and writing everywhere. Then out comes this giant sponge and it erases everything...every last word, scribble, scratch and smudge. Its empty.
"Well, God? Where do we go from here."
All the details I thought were going to happen, no longer exist and I'm left blank. Time to wait patiently on Him. Time to seek Him. Time to remember that great are His plans for me. Time to expect great things!
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all these things shall be added unto you..."
Aug 12, 2010
To Let Me Know He's There
All day today I kept feeling this sense of , "I have not forgotten you". This made my heart so happy at knowing that He has something good for me. I have been praying specifically for something God has spoken to me about almost 6yrs ago for the past several days, so naturally, I assumed this was what He was talking about.
Tonight, I have come to learn that the very thing He spoke, is currently impossible. I am unsure of what is going on and my heart is saddened, but that phrase keeps coming back to me, "I have not forgotten you".
So, Lord, I thank you for your faithfulness! I praise you for your hand at work. Thank you for walking me through this confusing time and for remembering me....
Tonight, I have come to learn that the very thing He spoke, is currently impossible. I am unsure of what is going on and my heart is saddened, but that phrase keeps coming back to me, "I have not forgotten you".
So, Lord, I thank you for your faithfulness! I praise you for your hand at work. Thank you for walking me through this confusing time and for remembering me....
Jul 21, 2010
Be Careful Little Mouth What You Pray
When I said, "God, I want a faith like Abraham's; a faith that pleases you", did I really know what I was asking?
One cool evening, under the star-dusted ,velvety black Texas sky, the phrase "..The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob" kept rolling around in my mind. What does that mean and why those guys? I had been reading about Abraham in my devotions and knew that He was noted for 'having a faith that pleased God'. My heart was so consumed with the desire to have the same kind of faith that I began praying, "God, I want a faith like Abraham's. I want a faith that pleases you". The desire was intense and stayed for well beyond that one cool evening in Texas. For months I prayed this.
About a year before I began praying for this, something that God had already been having me trust Him with, was right in front of me. I struggled for years to keep on trusting Him with what He spoke to me in 2004 and now it seemed as though it was actually going to happen. My heart was elated and my faith, hope, and trust in Him seemed to have deepened....
Within a month of me praying for "a faith like Abraham's", the very thing "He spoke" to me started to become impossible...almost overnight. Walls suddenly erected around it, barbed wire, spikes, and slime covered the wall, and a moat filled with the foulest of creatures surrounded it. Basically, there was no way "what He spoke" could happen. All the odds were against it and He still asked me to trust Him...
Friends, this is where the real test of faith comes in. Since this drastic change for the worse has happened, I have had my ups and downs in my faith with God. Everything from "But God, this is what you spoke", "I must have misheard", "Why would you do this" even to the extreme of "There's still hope", "What you say, You will do", "The Lord fulfills His promises". God, being so very patient with me, has taken me from what I thought was a deep faith to showing me where, or what, my faith was really resting in. I was was putting my hope and faith in something happening, instead of in the One who can do all things. He has been walking with me on this rocky, mountainous journey of faith until He has "completed the work He has begun in me".
I am by no means a super-christian or anywhere near having a faith that is noted for pleasing God (Abraham), but I have been blessed to have these rose-colored glasses of what I thought faith was, removed. It is not a bed of roses, easy and sweet...no, I have come to see that is it full of sweat and tears with a result that is a deeper realization of who Christ is and all He is able and willing to do. With a result of a faith chiseled and put through the fire....with a result that is 'pleasing to God'. With a result of deepened hope and trust....with a result of a faith in the One and not the thing.
Yes, faith's journey has had its ups and downs for me, but it is so worth it. He is so beautiful and I can honestly say now: The Lord gives and takes away, and in both He is still so good!
One cool evening, under the star-dusted ,velvety black Texas sky, the phrase "..The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob" kept rolling around in my mind. What does that mean and why those guys? I had been reading about Abraham in my devotions and knew that He was noted for 'having a faith that pleased God'. My heart was so consumed with the desire to have the same kind of faith that I began praying, "God, I want a faith like Abraham's. I want a faith that pleases you". The desire was intense and stayed for well beyond that one cool evening in Texas. For months I prayed this.
About a year before I began praying for this, something that God had already been having me trust Him with, was right in front of me. I struggled for years to keep on trusting Him with what He spoke to me in 2004 and now it seemed as though it was actually going to happen. My heart was elated and my faith, hope, and trust in Him seemed to have deepened....
Within a month of me praying for "a faith like Abraham's", the very thing "He spoke" to me started to become impossible...almost overnight. Walls suddenly erected around it, barbed wire, spikes, and slime covered the wall, and a moat filled with the foulest of creatures surrounded it. Basically, there was no way "what He spoke" could happen. All the odds were against it and He still asked me to trust Him...
Friends, this is where the real test of faith comes in. Since this drastic change for the worse has happened, I have had my ups and downs in my faith with God. Everything from "But God, this is what you spoke", "I must have misheard", "Why would you do this" even to the extreme of "There's still hope", "What you say, You will do", "The Lord fulfills His promises". God, being so very patient with me, has taken me from what I thought was a deep faith to showing me where, or what, my faith was really resting in. I was was putting my hope and faith in something happening, instead of in the One who can do all things. He has been walking with me on this rocky, mountainous journey of faith until He has "completed the work He has begun in me".
I am by no means a super-christian or anywhere near having a faith that is noted for pleasing God (Abraham), but I have been blessed to have these rose-colored glasses of what I thought faith was, removed. It is not a bed of roses, easy and sweet...no, I have come to see that is it full of sweat and tears with a result that is a deeper realization of who Christ is and all He is able and willing to do. With a result of a faith chiseled and put through the fire....with a result that is 'pleasing to God'. With a result of deepened hope and trust....with a result of a faith in the One and not the thing.
Yes, faith's journey has had its ups and downs for me, but it is so worth it. He is so beautiful and I can honestly say now: The Lord gives and takes away, and in both He is still so good!
Jul 2, 2010
Barista in Africa: Today's Special- Hope
It amazes me at how easily I can create my own will that I become 'inflexible' to. Though its along the lines of what I believe God's will is for me, it becomes so easy to fill in my own details of what that may look like! Point in case:
I know God has placed the desire of foreign missions on my heart. I also know that He has given me the desire to work holistic relief and also to start my own coffee shop (random, i know). Now what He didn't tell me where all those little details as to the how and when and what exactly that will look like. This is where I come in to make things more difficult. I put in my mind what I believe it should look like and I hold tightly onto that. Lesson I've had to learn:
God's ways are not my ways....in fact, they are totally different from what I would have thought. I moved to Springfield, MO to work with the international dept of Convoy of Hope. I moved here last July, found some fill in jobs and started volunteering with them as much as I could. For some reason, the journey here started becoming more and more difficult. I believe discontent at how things were not turning out the way I THOUGHT them to be, began getting the best of me. With much prayer, and the counsel of Thelissa Nutt, I came to know and understand that God is ALWAYS with me and is guiding me. So I put my hands up and let go of the 'reigns' I was running this show with. God really began impressing on my heart, "The path may not look the way you thought it would, but I gave you desires for a reason and I am faithful to complete it. Trust me.".
That, my friends, was such a weight off of my shoulders! Why do we burden ourselves with trying to 'run the show' when He has everything under control and so much better than we could ever have done! I feel such peace! After much prayer, I made the decision to get my own apartment, pull away from my current involvement with COH, and attend school at Central Bible College full time. Its now several months later and the result:
God opened a door for me to help start a ministry coffee shop in Tanzania.
The door is wide open, the light is green, and the word "Go" is all I see. I would never have imagined something so awesome! The goal is for this upcoming January semester and I will be using my school practicum over there, for 2-3 months. I am also praying for an opportunity to visit Daniel Dostrasil in the Czech to work with their English Camp on my way back home. My heart feels so very blessed and at so much peace. He definitely works all things out and much better than I could ever have!
I know God has placed the desire of foreign missions on my heart. I also know that He has given me the desire to work holistic relief and also to start my own coffee shop (random, i know). Now what He didn't tell me where all those little details as to the how and when and what exactly that will look like. This is where I come in to make things more difficult. I put in my mind what I believe it should look like and I hold tightly onto that. Lesson I've had to learn:
God's ways are not my ways....in fact, they are totally different from what I would have thought. I moved to Springfield, MO to work with the international dept of Convoy of Hope. I moved here last July, found some fill in jobs and started volunteering with them as much as I could. For some reason, the journey here started becoming more and more difficult. I believe discontent at how things were not turning out the way I THOUGHT them to be, began getting the best of me. With much prayer, and the counsel of Thelissa Nutt, I came to know and understand that God is ALWAYS with me and is guiding me. So I put my hands up and let go of the 'reigns' I was running this show with. God really began impressing on my heart, "The path may not look the way you thought it would, but I gave you desires for a reason and I am faithful to complete it. Trust me.".
That, my friends, was such a weight off of my shoulders! Why do we burden ourselves with trying to 'run the show' when He has everything under control and so much better than we could ever have done! I feel such peace! After much prayer, I made the decision to get my own apartment, pull away from my current involvement with COH, and attend school at Central Bible College full time. Its now several months later and the result:
God opened a door for me to help start a ministry coffee shop in Tanzania.
The door is wide open, the light is green, and the word "Go" is all I see. I would never have imagined something so awesome! The goal is for this upcoming January semester and I will be using my school practicum over there, for 2-3 months. I am also praying for an opportunity to visit Daniel Dostrasil in the Czech to work with their English Camp on my way back home. My heart feels so very blessed and at so much peace. He definitely works all things out and much better than I could ever have!
Apr 18, 2010
Is it REALLY that simple?
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."
Isn't it funny how when the "best of times" are present, we feel as though God is all around us. It seems as though His hand is leading and providing, amazing us with all He is able to do! Yet as soon as the wind turns cold, the dark skies roll in, and the birds stop chirping, we feel as though God has abandoned us. If you've read all of my blogs, you will notice a drastic change in my tone of writing a couple months ago. I went from the "best of times" to the "worst of times". Many things began to happen, subtle pressures to fix the unfixable, and circumstances far from my control that left me feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I called out to God many times and heard nothing. Why?
It was one of the darkest nights for me, feeling as though I was in this all alone, that I called a friend in Texas. I hadnt spoken with her in almost a year, yet for some reason her name dropped into my mind. God gave her the gift of counceling and began asking me what has been going on. In the middle of the conversation she said, "Holly, do you feel as though God has left you?". I started to cry so hard. She hit the nail on the head: The God I love, who I will follow all my days, has abandoned me. I didnt understand what I had done wrong. These words she made me promise to write down and memorize. Its God's promise to us: "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you" [no matter how dark the skies are in your life].
At that moment, it was as though the light had switched on and I KNEW, He really hadnt abandoned me...not even for one second. I was so blinded by what burdens I chose to cling to and control, that I missed Him right there with me the whole time.
Is it really that simple? I believe it is. When all feels hopeless, the winds turn cold, or the dark skies start rolling in...that's when we need to remember His promise to us: " I will NEVER leave you or forsake you". It really is that simple.
Isn't it funny how when the "best of times" are present, we feel as though God is all around us. It seems as though His hand is leading and providing, amazing us with all He is able to do! Yet as soon as the wind turns cold, the dark skies roll in, and the birds stop chirping, we feel as though God has abandoned us. If you've read all of my blogs, you will notice a drastic change in my tone of writing a couple months ago. I went from the "best of times" to the "worst of times". Many things began to happen, subtle pressures to fix the unfixable, and circumstances far from my control that left me feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I called out to God many times and heard nothing. Why?
It was one of the darkest nights for me, feeling as though I was in this all alone, that I called a friend in Texas. I hadnt spoken with her in almost a year, yet for some reason her name dropped into my mind. God gave her the gift of counceling and began asking me what has been going on. In the middle of the conversation she said, "Holly, do you feel as though God has left you?". I started to cry so hard. She hit the nail on the head: The God I love, who I will follow all my days, has abandoned me. I didnt understand what I had done wrong. These words she made me promise to write down and memorize. Its God's promise to us: "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you" [no matter how dark the skies are in your life].
At that moment, it was as though the light had switched on and I KNEW, He really hadnt abandoned me...not even for one second. I was so blinded by what burdens I chose to cling to and control, that I missed Him right there with me the whole time.
Is it really that simple? I believe it is. When all feels hopeless, the winds turn cold, or the dark skies start rolling in...that's when we need to remember His promise to us: " I will NEVER leave you or forsake you". It really is that simple.
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