It amazes me at how easily I can create my own will that I become 'inflexible' to. Though its along the lines of what I believe God's will is for me, it becomes so easy to fill in my own details of what that may look like! Point in case:
I know God has placed the desire of foreign missions on my heart. I also know that He has given me the desire to work holistic relief and also to start my own coffee shop (random, i know). Now what He didn't tell me where all those little details as to the how and when and what exactly that will look like. This is where I come in to make things more difficult. I put in my mind what I believe it should look like and I hold tightly onto that. Lesson I've had to learn:
God's ways are not my ways....in fact, they are totally different from what I would have thought. I moved to Springfield, MO to work with the international dept of Convoy of Hope. I moved here last July, found some fill in jobs and started volunteering with them as much as I could. For some reason, the journey here started becoming more and more difficult. I believe discontent at how things were not turning out the way I THOUGHT them to be, began getting the best of me. With much prayer, and the counsel of Thelissa Nutt, I came to know and understand that God is ALWAYS with me and is guiding me. So I put my hands up and let go of the 'reigns' I was running this show with. God really began impressing on my heart, "The path may not look the way you thought it would, but I gave you desires for a reason and I am faithful to complete it. Trust me.".
That, my friends, was such a weight off of my shoulders! Why do we burden ourselves with trying to 'run the show' when He has everything under control and so much better than we could ever have done! I feel such peace! After much prayer, I made the decision to get my own apartment, pull away from my current involvement with COH, and attend school at Central Bible College full time. Its now several months later and the result:
God opened a door for me to help start a ministry coffee shop in Tanzania.
The door is wide open, the light is green, and the word "Go" is all I see. I would never have imagined something so awesome! The goal is for this upcoming January semester and I will be using my school practicum over there, for 2-3 months. I am also praying for an opportunity to visit Daniel Dostrasil in the Czech to work with their English Camp on my way back home. My heart feels so very blessed and at so much peace. He definitely works all things out and much better than I could ever have!
