Is it REALLY that simple?

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."


 Isn't it funny how when the "best of times" are present, we feel as though God is all around us. It seems as though His hand is leading and providing, amazing us with all He is able to do! Yet as soon as the wind turns cold, the dark skies roll in, and the birds stop chirping, we feel as though God has abandoned us. If you've read all of my blogs, you will notice a drastic change in my tone of writing a couple months ago. I went from the "best of times" to the "worst of times". Many things began to happen, subtle pressures to  fix the unfixable, and circumstances far from my control that left me feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I called out to God many times and heard nothing. Why?


It was one of the darkest nights for me, feeling as though I was in this all alone, that I called a friend in Texas. I hadnt spoken with her in almost a year, yet for some reason her name dropped into my mind. God gave her the gift of counceling and began asking me what has been going on. In the middle of the conversation she said, "Holly, do you feel as though God has left you?". I started to cry so hard. She hit the nail on the head: The God I love, who I will follow all my days, has abandoned me. I didnt understand what I had done wrong. These words she made me promise to write down and memorize. Its God's promise to us: "I will NEVER leave you or forsake you" [no matter how dark the skies are in your life]. 


At that moment, it was as though the light had switched on and I KNEW, He really hadnt abandoned me...not even for one second. I was so blinded by what burdens I chose to cling to and control, that I missed Him right there with me the whole time. 


Is it really that simple? I believe it is. When all feels hopeless, the winds turn cold, or the dark skies start rolling in...that's when we need to remember His promise to us: " I will NEVER leave you or forsake you". It really is that simple.

Soar again.

Come soar with me again. Leave the mountain you've created. Come live with me again, in my truth and freedom.


I've seen this mess you've made. How you feel that it's too late. I've seen your hopelessness, my love....


Come soar with me again. Feel my wind beneath your wings. Come live with me again, in my truth and freedom.


This freedom  you desire, from the choices you have made, it's yours for the taking, if you come with me again.


Come soar with me.

Life : Freedom

Many different images come to mind when you think of the word "Life". For me, that image is a rock climber. The look of pure joy on your smiling, dirt smudged face, the wind blowing your hair wildly in all directions as you stand on the top of the cliff, hands widespread, and the sun bathing you in its warmth. Yes, the feeling of true freedom.

Life : Freedom.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free" (Galatians 5:1a).

We know He died to free us from the bondage of sin that keeps us encaged, broken, and hopeless. He died so we would be with Him forever and know Him as our everything. He died so we could live in unison with Him. But He also died for freedom, and that to the fullest. So we could have those cliff top, sunkissed experiences. So we could enjoy the life He has given us; A life in freedom.

"Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1b)

Dark Waters...

The dark water lays motionless before me. One would think it were but pure darkness if not for the moonlight's reflection on the ever so slight ripples beneath my feet. "Come", said a quiet, soothing voice. My once calm heart begins to beat faster, the heightening pulse in my neck threatening to capture my very breath. Every possible thought of rationalizing the rejection of His request plagued my mind, like ants over a crumb. Eyes searching to find Him, I stand motionless as if trying to hide . "Come with me", He said again. Without hesitation, my foot begins to step towards the voice, further onto the dark waters. I step again. Then again. With each step I take, a thick fog begins to encompass all around me. I can no longer make out a path to walk on. I can no long see my feet. I stop, frozen to the comfort of what I know; to the safety of this place. I yell out for the One who called me to come, confident He couldn't find me in this fog. "Help me! I'm here!" My ears strained to hear an answer. Nothing came. "I stepped towards you like you asked!!! Where are you?!" I yelled, even louder than before. The silence in return is deafening. The fog wraps itself around me, constricting tighter around my lungs. I drop to my knees, hoping to breath and feel a path beneath me. "Are you still there?" I whimper, the hot tears flooding my eyes. My hands search endlessly, frantically for nothing....just dark waters and fog. "Did I hear Him wrong?" I wonder to myself, sitting in a puddle of defeat. "I just don't understand"......

I am here, still calling out with no answer. The fog has now coated my skin, hiding me in its cocoon. In case You can still hear me, "I'm here".

Hide me in You

When I was a little girl I would sometimes wake up in the middle of night, scared. With everyone in the house asleep, I would sneak into my parents room and tiptoe to my mom's side of the bed. With a gentle tapping on her arm, she would wake up and see my eyes peering over the edge of the bed. "Mommy, can I please lay with you...I'm scared." She would then lift the corner of her blanket, I would crawl in, and she would wrap her arm around me and hold me tight until I fell back asleep.

This is the picture I get when I am praying. When I come to talk with Jesus. When my heart is so full of fear or anxiety. Without a word from me, He knows what I am feeling and He lifts the blanket for me to crawl in and covers me with His arm...protects me...comforts me...hides me from what I am running from. Its the most peaceful place. Sometimes, I feel like I am there all the time, constantly running from something...but its in that place, in that time of "God, hide me in you" that He gently comforts me and restores my hope that He is in control.

A Gem Among Many...

Beautiful, glistening gems by the handfuls. You can find one you like, whichever way you turn. Strolling down the sidewalk, gazing among the many. The thought of owning one momentarily satisfies the hearts craving. "Yes, this is mine." you would proudly tell anyone who admires. To own one, however, you will pay a price. It is true for anyone. It will either come cheaply and will break with the first fall, or it will cost dearly and will last to be passed on to your children.

When the gems are in plenty, is the one hidden in the hardest of rocks worth the effort of chipping away? Worth the time? Worth the pain? Worth the frustration? Is all the work worth it when there are plenty of gems at your fingertips?

Or is it worth finding the unique gem that is hidden? That is only for you to have? Only for you to polish and shine. Only for you to wear. It's uniqueness and beauty only yours and owned by no one else.

Or would you settle for a gem among many?

Stir the Waters

I am here, not by personal ambitions, but by the move of You. At first arrival, I was in awe and in constant expectation of what is to come. When my feet felt firmly planted in my new surrounding, You began entrusting me with work. I was not meant to sit and simply soak in everything for myself, but to fulfill what You planned. So I plowed, I raked, I sowed, I watered. Tired, I stopped to look at the waters before me, the stories of miracles that left it's depths pulling at my heart. I often find myself putting down my tools and wandering toward the crystal still water. Not a ripple. Not the slightest sign of life, but the glow deep inside calls to me. "Wait for it. Wait for it." So I pick up my tools and continue the work You entrusted to me. Day after day, night after night. Much time has passed now and my soul grows weak from my heart's desperate longing and from the work that seems to bear no fruit. With everything in me I cry, "Lord! Stir the water that I may see the wondrous work of your hands." Laying down my tools again, I sit by the water and stare. The crystal, motionless water and its deep glow seeming to mock my hearts longing to see the impossible. To see what I KNOW You are capable of. Wiping the tears of brokenness from my face, I stand up to leave the field and wander into nowhere. Anything would be less painful that the teasing glow of the water. As I began to step away, I heard it again, "Wait for it. Wait for it." With my hope and expectation barely aflame, I pick back up my tools and pray, "Lord, stir the waters!".